Pudinvaagian Knuuz (The Hulpmiddelian Reporter)

Zijkrater Jailed For Excess Force & Brutality

Sun, 6 Mar 2011 11:25:36 -0800

The famed guitar now kaaptured by Slice was put in the jail bars today for “excessing force and brutality,” as the stating by Hulpmiddelian reporter, Juren Stomzel. Source did the saying that Zijkrater , though typically peaceful, went on raging conniption fit last week while spewing forth a normal dose of riffing. “It was normalling day of the practicing of the raging materials, and all of the sudden, Zijkrater, started on a new riff. It was amazing!” stated Slice.

“Pretty soon, the Zijkrater knocked me down and a solo like none other came out! Faster than capable of playing, Zijkrater took over and created the magisch! But soon, it be too muching for me to control (control, control). The raging continued. Riffing madness! Could not stop! Sweet Gebouw! Save me!” Slice tells the Juren Stomzel in an emotional interview over the weekending. Slice was removed from the set as flashbacks were too much for the strong Slice. Please, send your Pudinvaagian prayers!

Veenmolfest 2011 Is The Happening!

Tue, 1 Mar 2011 11:58:47 -0800

In preparation of the annual Veenmolfest, the first and only the last weekending in March, he farmed his most famousest mierenlandbouwdedrijf to its fullyest capacity! The Veenmolfest is comprimised of 14 bouts of illegal fighting of the krikkaats. In casing you do not have the knowing, krikkaats are always on the shields of der wind when driving!

At the Veenmolfest, krikkaats are put into a gelijke and are foreced to rubbing of the legs together until one is dead. This makes the other krikkaat the champion! Davey has long been a breeder of his amazing meiren (army of crickets). No one has ever the beaten him and his mierenlandbouwdedrijf and he hopes to keep his amazing win streak of 2 alive this year! It is said that when the Davey is attending his mierenlandbouwdedrijf, he moves so fast it is hard to see him!!

We do the cheering for him and we do the praying for all of his mieren to survive the championship bouts of the great Veenmolfest!

Slice & Davey Visit The SLObispo! SpYed On By The Faux Toa Graffers!

Sun, 27 Feb 2011 11:35:54 -0800

Magisch was shouted by the Motherlandians when the saw the Slice & Davey travel north into the known unknown territory of the SLObispo! Over 140 werflaaps away, the reportering crew of Juren Stomezel found the great ones in travel! Juren’s travel plans were the thwarted when he learned of the great ones travel! He spent werflaags of speeds to catch them!

Onceing he got nearing them, they traveled into one of the massiving caves! And the Davey wasing the proper and helding his breath! Juren shot the faux toas!

Once next to the great ones, Juren was abling to get them to show their love for the Motherland!

The Pudinvaag Is At The Viper Room!

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 21:42:18 -0800

The Pudinvaag is coming back to the America! They will being at the Viper Room in the Hollywood on the April 6th @ 11pm! Come to the show and be ready to ROCKING!!!!

Zijkrater Is Discovered By Prophetta!

Thu, 3 Feb 2011 10:28:42 -0800

Since the taming of the once terryfying Zijkräter by the Slice, he hasing been running off and disappearing the many times! In facting, it is being the hard to having Slice tame the beast!

Mosting recent in the happenings, the amazing prophetta, Lamy Of The Juice, did the discovering of the Zijkräter deep in the forest of Duizend Eiken. The Zijkräter was found in the trees in the forest! Of souper importance, Zijkräter was the found and is being strapped down by the Slice. The wholing event was kaaptured on the faux toas, and it is amazing to seeing the struggling that the Slice had with Zijkräter! The pain! Once tamed, Slice had the Zijkräter rocked! Very scaries!

It hasing become necessary to...to........knew tur the Zijkräter! Taking away the aggressional pieces of the great beast seemingly the only waying to keep him under the control control control and remain in posession!

Very scaries!

The Pudinvaagian Princess Is Involving In The Secz Scandal!

Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:15:39 -0700

In greating turn of the happenings, the Princess of Pudinvaag, Goar Jess Tii Tzaas, has recentlies been involving with the scandals of massiving proportions! Apparentlies, in the efforts to gain special access to the Pudlayer, sending the faux toas to Davey as awaying to him letting her leave the Motherland to the States. What the happenings is the faux toas getting into the hands of the peoples of wrongs and they founding themselves all overing the internets!

Scandals! However, this is not bad scandals for the peoples, but is very bad for Princess Goar Jess. The royal family is the embarrassed. They have many people in the family. A very large group of Tii Tzaas. Usually, they are welcoming anywhere and can open most any door!

Zijkrater Is Alive! Sir Jur Wryees Is Successful!

Tue, 3 Aug 2010 21:54:45 -0700

Slice has done the it! He has kaaptured the most powerful Aalee Inn, Zijkräter in the asteroid thating the Aalee Inn coming for you in that crash landing back in the American month of the June! Shortly aftering the completion of the Zijkräter, Slice wasing knotting available to speak about the process, but secret Niiënjakin faux toa’z taker wasing able to sneaking the shots of the great Slice at work! Slice doesing have a scheduled interviewer with Juren Stomezel on the 3rd day from today, so we should knowing more about the process later.

Here are the faux toa’z thating were taken of the process in order. No sparing of time was happened!

Pudinvaagian Footwear Now Available!

Sun, 1 Aug 2010 20:57:11 -0700

To honor the Motherland, Pudinvaag released special new soothing foot gel for foot. The new insole is designed four the foot, but the shoe will benefeet too. The soft, almost wet-like insole makes your foot feel as it belongs in the shoe. Once you have worn the insole just one time, you own it...and it will repeatedly call you, sometimes even annoy you. You can walk all over the shoe, and it won’t moan, whine, or put up a fight! In fact, your foot will feel welcome anytime you want it too! The first few times you wear it, it may be very tight and sadly, it will eventually loosen up too much, which is why you need to buy more!

The name of this revolutionary product pay homage to the Motherland of Pudinvaag. It is called Footinvaag. So go on, treat your foot to a wonderful and new experience; Footinvaag! Try one on today! Footinvaag is not just for the mans, womans, may also enjoy a nice Footinvaag too!

*not legal in all countries.

Davey’s Birthday!

Thu, 29 Jul 2010 21:46:23 -0700

The birth of our very own Davey...the Motherland rejoices on this day!

Now, over 300 goeheads old, the Davey has been to outer Sparce, flown over Pudinvaag with Slice, and other magical and scarying things!

Happy Birthdays!

Zijkräter Has Been The Sir Jur Wryees And Is Doing The Recovering!

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 22:22:15 -0700

Slice has been the busy, as he is already the tamer of Monoclonius and Kupalo...but has now been the rumored to have harnessed the Zijkräter into the body of guitar! Zijkräter of coursing is the famousing Aalee Inn from outer Sparce. He has returned to the Motherland and crash landedingly in the hasturyoe’d about one goehead ago.

Write now, Zijkräter is covering in the bandages in his mid torso area that was the exploding when landing in the Motherland! Slice is trying to recovering the Zijkräter!

During that time, Slice has giving the life to Zijkräter in form of great string’ed instrument. What is scarying of this is the power in which the Zijkräter has! It is saiding that Zijkräter does knotting sound like Kupalo or Monoclonius encapsulae in a guitar....but very differentingly. Becauseing of Aalee Inn powers, that much beyonding anything in the Motherland, Zijkräter has special mind reading powers the he can using while playing. It is called the EMG. Zijkräter has the EMG, and it is scarying.

More to come. Zijkräter is recovering from his sir gur wryees soon, and bandages is coming off!

Journey Through The Motherland Commecingly!

Mon, 19 Jul 2010 14:03:25 -0700

The Dan E. Danns and Davey have been traveling the Motherland, much to the happylingness of the local Pudinvaagians, Oogstians, Hulpmiddelians, Kuillaagos, and Melkettes.

In the most beautifully tributes to the Dan E. Danns, in Gaat Melk’s lower providence, Kaaloowrawdough, they done finding some wonderfully sweet and tangy Hot & Spicy Mustard! This is brought straight down from the heavens, and does making many people split the thighs write open! Much goodness on the chicken thighs, and some times is good to put directly into clams or on tuna! Very tasty. Good alternate to the mayonnaise! Dan E. Danns favorite!

Zijkräter Kaaptured By Slice Immediatelyes After Crashing Landed In Duizend Eiken!

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 23:24:00 -0700

Oh Sweet Gebouw!! Zijkräter had somehowing come back from the future! Many jarens agos, Monoclonius had becoming most powerful being in the Motherland, and was taking over everything. He was dangerous, but there wasing only one thing that could scarying Monoclonius, and thating was Zijkräter. Zijkräter had come from the outer spaarce even many jarens before this. Only something from not in Pudinvaag could kaapturre the Monoclonius, and the Monoclonius knew this wasing true.

But, before anything coulding being the happened, the mighty Kupalo, protector of the Pudinvaagians, recognized the power of the Zijkräter, and was scareding that he would join Monoclonius and take control control control of the Motherland. So, Kupalo knew he could not killing the Zijkräter, so he challenged him to a foot of Gin Rummy. During sacred kaard game, the mighty Kupalo called out “Gin!” when having the 3, 3 and 4! Then, Kupalo sent the Zijkräter into outer spaarce, thus protecting the Motherland!

Now, he is back!!!!

But Slice did the gooding! Immediately after the Aalee Inn finders caught the remanents of the thing that came from the cockoon that crashed earlier today, Slice was there and did the kaapturring! It was amazing! Not knowing what to doing with the Aelee Inn, Zijkräter, Slice decided to putting it into a guitar, for forever keeping the Zijkräter safe from hurting the people.....now the raging can commencing from the guitar!

It is amazing how the Aalee Inn takes the shape and look of it’s cockoon. When Slice was encapusaleing Zijkräter into the guitar, the guitar came alive! Then, it began the changing of color.....and looking like the cockoon it cameing the from! The pictures are belowing!

Of course, Slice is the commander of Kupalo and Monoclonius.....so he is the besting person who can control control control Zijkräter! .........we hope!

Most Amazingly Thing Tonight! Hasturoye’ds Hitting Duizend Eiken!

Thu, 24 Jun 2010 18:43:44 -0700

Tonighting, a very large hasturoye’d hitting near the Pudlayer in Duizend Eiken tonight! Many of the crashes were heard from many werflaags away at 6:43pm in the America’s time. The quickly after first impacting, was a second....larger hasturoye’d the hitting other side of Pudlayer. Greater crashes were heard...as far away as Aap Esel, home of the tumlanders.

Many of the Pudinvaagian police, sequritee blahankettes, went out withing the 3 most valuable Aalee Inn finders in the Motherland.

Mai’ka, Ma’hu and the Hano, also known as the Hanburger.

The sequrritee blahankettes and the Aalee Inn finders were hot on the trail of whatever was in the hasturyoe’d.

Thoughing it was Hanburger that discovered that the hasturyoe’d was knotting an hasturyoe’d...but actually was a cockoon!

Something alive had coming out of the cockoon!

Immediatelyes, the Aalee Inn finders wenting to the other hasturoye’d but right when getting near to it, the ground began to shaking!

Very scary! During the shaking...it was easying to see that something was escaping from this cockoon too! But, sweet Gebouw, no oneing could seeing what came out.

The Pudinvaagian providence is being in the uproar because of this scarying night. No oneing is saying what we everyone knows is true. No oneing wants to admit what has happened....it is scary.....yet, it is true. We all knowing.....

Zijkräter has returned.....

Zijkräter Seen Coming Towards The Pudinvaag Providence!

Wed, 12 May 2010 19:48:07 -0700

On knowing! This has only been seen in once in the history! Many many jarens ago, the Kaavator known as Zijkräter was believed to have comed to Pudinvaag riding on a massiving hasturoye’d and crashing landed into Zavaravaz north of Hemelkloof in the Pudinvaagian Providence.

Zijkräter eventually moved to the terrifying Vulkaans, Vähk off of the coasting of Hemelkloof. It was in the same generally location of the twin mountain tops in the waters named, Teetas Giganticaas, and just south of the famousing water mountain, Mt. Thaatbeech.

This timing, we do knot have any knowing why this is happenings, as it is rumored the Zijkräter had been sent back into the outer sparce by the mighty Kupalo. Kupalo was protecting the Pudinvaagians from the dangerous Zijkräter. This was the current faux toa’z that was clicked.

We do knowing that Zijkräter had wanting to kaapturre the Monoclonius and take him back to wherever he coming from. Though, we don’t having the clue to tell us why.

Instant panicing happened, and even though there is not one piece of the the pie to tell us four suring, people are scared becausing they think Zijkräter has coming back. Impossible! They thinkning Zijkräter is here to try and kaapturring Monoclonius again!

We hopes no! It is too scary!

Trommelkin Briefingly Out Of Control, But Dan E. Danns Harnesses Energy To Stop!

Fri, 7 May 2010 23:02:40 -0700

It was the very scary, when for briefingly timing, the Trommelkin came storming out of the control! control...control. Dan E. Danns, the trommel helder that has mastering the fabled Trommelkin, was abling to rectumfy the sacred band of kins rendering them harmless to the innocents Pudinvaagians.

During the rocking of 69 Beers, it was seemingly like the Trommelkin, and other parts of the song, were raging with the too much rage! Almost knocking downing the other members of the song...much like a voelingvaal to a elaayne.

Howevers, with some magisch,

touching gentlys of the rat,

and some dextrious multi finger pressing

...Dan E. Danns, with all of the calmingness of the Oogstians, immediantely putting the Trommelkin away like it wasing but a baby toy! Almost was like a normalling day for the trommel helder!

How scary!

Megafoon Tries To Eating Slice!

Sun, 2 May 2010 21:58:35 -0700

During most recents wyreekoorden sessions, most crazy was the time. Not only’d did Zijkräter shows up to trying and taking the Davey back into outer sparce, but also megafoon was trying to the eat Slice! Strange happenings were ashoulder in the Pudlayer!

During live session for Pudinvaag, The Song vocal session, Slice was panting out the famousing vocals for the macht trio’s name song, when crazy megafoon trying to the eating! It was starting out to be a pretty silvery megafoon.
It even had pretty pink “I Heart You” badge to say nice words to Slice!

Nice to look at and pet, but thening turned into Duivel Megafoon and immediately trying to sucking the face off of Slice!

Slice was doomed to certain face-melting! But, Davey saw this from distance and yelled “STOP, Duivel Megafoon!”

Fortunately, the Davey was there to fight the Duivel Megafoon and saving the Slice from certain face-melting! The fight was commensing during the wyreekoorden session! Oh my! Davey fought down that Duivel Megafoon!

Many faux toa’z were taken of incident, and police are saying that the megafoon is now in the customary at the station of the police for questioning. Apparentlyis, the megafoon is not ansewering the questions, but rather repeating everything they say really loud.

The Ancient One, Zijkräter

Sun, 2 May 2010 15:43:50 -0700

Zijkräter, an ancient decendent from the great Vulkaan, Vähk, has been seen in spirit form recentlies. But in mystic capturings, he was kaapturred in faux toa’z! During wyreekoorden session in the Pudlayer, during randoms faux toa’z sessions, the camera became hard to holdings. Almost as if was alive! It was moving the violently until, all of the suddens.....the ancient Zijkräter appeared above the Daveys! In attempting to take the Daveys back to space, as was the rumoring from where the Zijkräter is from...and of course where the Davey’s was first Pudinvaagian to travel into the space. It was scarying!

Look for write up on Zijkräter soons, as we thinks it bes important to education yourself on what now may be a dangerous resurgence of this fabled creature heralding from his Earthing home in the Vähk, offing the coast of Hemelkloof, near where the great Kupalo was born!

Vulkaan known as Vähk, in the south of the famousing Mt. Thaatbeech

Mon, 5 Apr 2010 19:32:08 -0700

Many souths of the tops part of the mountain rangers in lower Pudinvaag, nearing the Hemelkloof, the is teh mastering of all the great Vulkaans, Vähk, It is just offing the coast of Hemelkloof and is in the same generally location of the twin mountain tops in the waters named, Teetas Giganticaas, and just south of the famousing water mountain, Mt. Thaatbeech. It is rumoreding that the Pudinvaag is to be playing on the vulkaan, which is the scary because gigantas poordveksel and the zuileglings are known to bes everywhere. The last timing anyones was in the dangerously Vähk was many the centuries ago, when Kupalo traveled in the high top of the Vähk in search for the fabled Zijkräter who wasing believed to have arrived from the outer sparce and made the home in the Vähk.

Haar The Pudinvaag Comet

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:45:45 -0700

Spotting over the Oogstian Providence, the Haar Pudinvaag Comet does the flying! Many feelings that van Comet was going to do the striing, but that did notting happen, thank sweet Gebouw. This rare happenings is very specials. It only happens only once in one week. As such, this special happenings is very special, and is treated the very special, mostly because of it’s specialness that makes it the so special.

In facting, many times, the Haar comet brings the things from outer sparce on it. In ancient Pudinvaagian laar, the story says that the Kaavator Comet harboringed the great Zijkräter from somewheres in the outer sparce.

7 Pudinvaagians Are Missing In The Jungle Of Het Haar Van de Luchtkuil

Mon, 4 May 2009 19:51:17 -0700

The 7 Pudinvaagians missing are reporterly college students of Natte Borst and were the indenting on recreation of the famed path of the Trommelkin from Dex Kuillaag to Oogstan providence of Taag. Mysteryes because is gianticana maze, and seeming like know oneing can get lost because you in the maze. This is scarys, as no oneing can helping them without knowing where they areing.

Puzzle.

Winged Animals Take The Flight In Natte Börst

Sat, 2 May 2009 19:54:28 -0700

In the Oogstian Providence, winged animals known as flaacisimoes, erupted from underneathingly the ocean at the coastly harbor of Natte Börst. The reasoning is unknowning, and very scary. Stay the posted in to learn more of the aamaizeziing happenings.....if anything more does the happenings.

Davey Done Did Some Wyreekoorden!

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 20:06:53 -0700

Pubicly known to be in the processing of wyreekoorden, the Pudinvaag allowed in the photopeoples for a few moments. Caught was some great handage of Davey wyreekoorden some of the vahoekoorden for schon upcoming aaluvume on the CD. Seeing the Davey is magistaniki when holding his vahoekoorden in one hand. The handing, is elsewhere and is great secret of soopour importance, and knotting your business.

A Giganticana Game Of Peek-A-Boo Was Playinged In The Pudlayer!

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 20:15:38 -0700

All is being the said and happened, Peek-A-Boo was massiving success! Although, everyone was in partcipated, Davey was clearing the most masterfulling at it. Shame befallen the restings, but it onlys make us stronger.

Dan E. Danns On The Wraydeeo!

Wed, 22 Apr 2009 20:17:07 -0700

Dan E. Danns was the spotted heard on schon wraydeeo! He was in studio for promoting of the K-PUD 96.9, The PUD. On thising wraydeeo staaschon, it playing the Pudinvaag and nothing schon the Pudinvaag, 27/5! We are hulping for live cymoolkaastaulae very prompt!

You hearing the Dan E. Danns, but for schon Kuillaago’s, we hading to editing Dan E. Danns, for fearing they return into 23 week retreat vonce hearing the geshlacht words....is okay....buy album for real versioning. Is coming soon.

Slice & Davey Return To Pudinvaag!

Sat, 18 Apr 2009 20:28:55 -0700

Slice and the Davey have returned to Pudinvaag! In most unusally way...ON A MAGISCH CARPET! Slice founding out out to control...control...control the magisch carpet and wasing able to command it to fly! What is so un-scary abouting this, is Davey’s was the scared at first, but then likening it and had the fun! Funny is because Davey was the first Pudinvaagian to eve go into the outer sparce, but had the scarys on the carpet. Maybe that is becausing the carpet was easy to fall off of!

Many of the Oogstians, Kuillaagos, and Pudinvaagians traveled to witness the return of the macht trio in part!